http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
Our God is a loving God. He does not want His people to be abused. Click on the link above & read to help recognize signs of abuse. There are all kinds of abuse including physical, emotional, and financial abuse.
http://smudge77.multiply.com/journal/item/299/What_is_a_Critical_Spirit
I found these words on a blogging type web page. I think there is some helpful information here:
| What is a Critical Spirit? | Mar 23, ’09 6:04 AM for everyone |
What Exactly is a Critical Spirit?
A “critical spirit,” is an obsessive attitude of criticism and fault-finding, which seeks to tear others down — [not the same thing as what is sometimes called “constructive criticism.”] The only criticism that is ever constructive is that which is expressed in love to “build up,” not to tear down — it is always expressed face-to-face, never behind their back.
The person with a critical spirit usually dwells on the negative, seeks for flaws rather than good. They’re a complainer, usually always upset, and generally have a problem or a complaint about something. They often have little control over their tongue, their temper, and have tendencies for gossip and slander, which Paul said were sins “worthy of death” (Rom. 1:29-32).
What Causes a Critical Spirit?
1. Negativeness – A bad attitude and a negative view of life. A person may have unconfessed sin in their life (Rom. 2:1), or may harbor unforgiveness or bitterness toward someone who may have offended them (Heb. 12:15).
2. Insecurity – Criticism is often a subconscious means to “elevate one’s own self image.” By putting others down, they are inwardly trying to feel more important or that “they know more.” Jealousy toward the spiritual victories of others is often the cause of criticism and belittling comments. Popular ministers of the Gospel are often the target of such tactics.
3. Immaturity – Believers must always keep their focus upon Christ and His Word, not man, who will often fail (Heb. 12:2). The young or immature believer who has not progressed very far in their own faith, remain overly dependent upon the faith of those within the body of Christ. Unfortunately, when they begin to notice the flaws in their brethren, subconsciously, this becomes a threat to their own sense of victory. Criticism becomes a reaction of disappointment, because their expectations in others have been crushed.
4. An Unrenewed Mind – Put-downs, making-fun-of, criticism, sarcasm are the world’s ways of reacting to the faults of people. However, as Christians we shouldn’t behave this way. Our thinking and attitude should be renewed by the Word of God, which teaches us to bear the infirmities of the weak, to love, and show compassion and encouragement (Rom. 12:2).
Have you ever been around someone that scrutinizes your every move?
To scrutinize is to inspect critically. Good constructive criticism can be a good thing but to continually criticize someone because they don’t walk the way you walk or talk the way you talk is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit of God.
If you find yourself being scrutinized pray for the one with the critical spirit. Pray they can be delivered by the Spirit of our Lord.
Usually these kind of people have a problem with blaming others for the faults they possess. If they don’t realize they are the ones with the critical spirit you are apt to find yourself very uncomfortable around them. You can’t please them because they usually can’t see their own faults enough to quit picking on others.
When you find yourself becoming overly critical of a situation or of another person pray that God will deliver you of that ugly spirit that does not come from Him.
Remind yourself that criticism is not a fruit of the Spirit of God.
http://paacdc.com/Documents/DEALING%20WITH%20A%20CRITICAL%20SPIRIT.pdf
This link has a nice writing from the American Association of Christian Counselors on judging others and criticism.
The next link has more to say about dealing with criticism:
http://www.pbcc.org/sermons/media/1098.html
A few more words on the critical spirit:
http://www.hopefortheheart.org/site/PageServer?pagename=hlp_topic_critical_spirit
If you have spent a lot of time being criticized during your lifetime it’s very possible that you hear and speak words of criticism on a consistent basis. I encourage you to cast the spirit of criticism far away from you in Jesus name. Ask the Lord to help you be an encourager instead of a discourager. The Lord gives us many words of encouragement and He wants us to encourage others.